Cottage Life
Many cottage owners run into problems when deciding how to share the cottage among family members and/or how to pass it on to children or grandchildren. Cottage Mediation offers mediation and conflict resolution services to help with common problems associated with cottage life.
Definitions of Cottage Life By “cottage,” we refer not just to cottages, themselves, but also to cabins, vacation homes, second homes, and hunting lodges. All of these have important things in common. They are generally highly prized, they involve leisure and family members, they usually have significant monetary value, and they make an excellent asset for passing on to children. Unfortunately, they are also often a source of intense conflict. We will use the word, “cottage,” to refer to any of these kinds of ownership.
The spirit of place
Cottages life has a special significance to most people. The word itself conjures up images of vacation and time away from the workaday world. The magic associated with childhood, water or woods, seasonal rituals, getaways, and the spirit of “place” is intimately connected with the cottage life experience. Cottages are often the gathering place for family reunions or connecting with friends, which can increase greatly their emotional and psychological value. A kind of aesthetic spirituality is often associated with the cottage life experience. Because the spirit of “place” is strong and binds people together in special ways, sometimes over generations, owners often hope to be able to leave the cottage to the next generation.
Dynamics that Lead to Conflict
Cottage owners and their family members are often have strong feelings, expectations, and perceptions about their involvement with cottage life. These can either facilitate connectedness and harmony or interfere with cooperative sharing, depending on how they are handled. Here are a few examples:
---feeling a sense of belonging
---feeling entitled
---feeling too much or too little responsibility
---identifying in a particular way with the cottage life experience
---being inclusive or exclusive
---feeling included or excluded
---sibling rivalry or affiliation
Divergent Valuing
One of the most common and difficult problems for cottage owners is the very different ways in which they, and/or their children, value the cottage. This can be a problem both in the process of sharing the cottage life experience and in the process of setting up a cottage succession plan. Here are the most common ways in which family members value the cottage:
---cottage life as social experience with family and friends
---cottage as private getaway
---cottage as asset
When these kinds of differences become a source of conflict in the family, conflict resolution through mediation is an option to consider.
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